My Dreams

You know, I told my husband before we were married that I was never going to be a housewife.  Funny how life turns out sometimes isn't it?  I was going to "have it all."  I wanted a husband, a couple of children, but most importantly a career.  My dream was to do something and be someone important, and an important career was how I was going to achieve that.

I had worked in restaurants for many years, through high school, college, and beyond.  I liked the money, but more importantly I had dreams of becoming a manager.  I had worked my way up in one restaurant and started climbing the ladder in a bigger chain.  Chelsea was about 3, and even though I worked a lot of hours, there were other people that were taking good care of her.  We decided we should try and have a sibling for her to play with.  I thought I could manage two children and still follow my dream.

It was not as easy as I thought it would be.  You see, I had problems with cysts on my ovaries and could not get pregnant.  I honestly did not believe I ever would.  But, after a year and the help of fertility medication I did finally get pregnant, and the baby was due at the same time I was to begin my career as a manager in a brand new restaurant.  God gave me both of my dreams at the same time and I had to make a choice.  Could I leave this precious baby 50-60 hours a week after praying and waiting for him for so long?  Could I miss out on seeing him and his big sister grow?  How could I not chase my dreams to be someone and do something important? 

As you may have guessed, I chose the baby over the job.  To tell the truth if it had not been for the year of struggling to get pregnant I don't think I would have.  God taught me something important through that time in my life.  But I was not entirely committed to staying home with my children.  I would just until they were all in school and then I would follow my dreams.

A few years and another baby later, we lost my older brother when a drunk driver hit his car head on.  That was a horrible time in all of our lives, but as He promises, God can bring good out of every situation.  Loosing Steve that way taught me how precious and short life is and that we are not here for the purpose of doing something that the world sees as big and important.  We are here to do God's work here on earth for as long as He leaves us here to do it.  I needed to follow God's plan for my life not my own.  I learned I needed to make the most of the time I had with the children (and other people) He had blessed my life with.  Shortly after that we were pregnant with baby #4 and we started homeschooling.  I knew without a shadow of a doubt that that was what God wanted me to do.

I have had the honor and privilege of carrying and bringing 7 eternal beings into this world!  I have felt their first movements, saw the faces for the first time, nourished them and watched all those precious firsts.  I have watched them learn and grow.  I have kissed their dirty faces, bandaged their wounds, read thousands of stories, and taught them everything from the Bible to their colors, to Algebra and Chemistry.  It is not always easy (like you didn't know that!)  There is always noise, the house is usually in chaos, dishes and laundry are always dirty.  I get impatient, frustrated, and tired!  But, I cannot ever imagine a dream that is any better than the one that I am living!  Things like expensive cars, boats, houses, money, clothing, success are unimportant earthly things that fade away.  Being a wife and mommy is the greatest job and dream that can ever be.  God has entrusted these precious angels to me to raise and teach to do His work here on earth and  further His kingdom.  There is no earthly dream that can ever beat that!